Wednesday, November 01, 2017

Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair, an erotic memoir

11/1/17:  I'm moving this October 2010 book review to the top of the blog today because I think Rae's book is brilliant, engrossing, and passionate. I want to be sure you know about this sexy memoir. -- Joan

"Where are the books by and for women over 50 that deal honestly with sexuality?" I've asked myself for years. Dozens of self-help books for our age group have appeared in the past four years, thank goodness, but where are the sexually honest novels and memoirs that talk about our lives, our passions, our desires, our sexuality, our inner lives? Finally -- Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair by Rae Padilla Francoeur arrives with honesty and sizzle.

Free Fall is an erotic memoir and much more. Rae Padilla Francoeur, age 58, begins a love affair with Jim, age 67. It's hot, very hot, explosively hot. Rae describes the passionate details -- how he touches and controls her body, how her passions smolder, build, and erupt. As graphic as her details are, I'm pleased that she uses language our generation is comfortable with -- penis, vagina --  instead of the edgier language that characterizes most contemporary erotica.

And, oh my, this book is beautifully written:

I am shameless. I will slide over every inch of him, kissing him back, wrestling in all that sweat to stay on top. I am sure I will never get enough of him. He will find this out and, being the man he is, he will revel in trying to find the outer limits of my stamina and prowess. He never will.
...
I've become so still and quiet and deep in the zone where my brain is one massive sensor hooked into the places he touches and the places I touch. There is nothing else. I'm all body.
...
We're kissing each other like the end of time is on the other side of the door. We kiss like this for ten or fifteen minutes until suddenly Jim stops it all. He steps back. He pulls my skirt over my hips. He takes my hand and places it on his penis.

Rae Padilla Francoeur 
The title refers to more than Rae's "free fall" into later-life passion. Like all of us, her love affair doesn't happen in a vacuum. Much of the book deals with her other "free fall" -- her relationship with Eli, her partner of many years, who is losing his battle with bipolar disorder. Rae loves him deeply, though her love is more brotherly than loverly by now, but she must choose herself over Eli if she is to survive. Eli's story grips us as much as Rae's love affair with Jim.

Free Fall: A Late in Life Love Affair is one of the best books I've read in years. I hope you'll read it for yourself, and let us know what you think.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Do you have an Advance Directive for Sexual Rights?



When do we lose the right to sexual expression? If we’re lucky enough to be active and independent now, we’re smart enough to realize that a time may come that we no longer can live on our own. What will you want for yourself? For your loved ones? How can you make sure that your wishes are respected?

Take some time to think about these ideas and questions:
  • When do we lose the right to sexual expression?
  • Does our right to sexual expression end if/when we can no longer live independently? If so, why?
  • Who determines whether we can still express ourselves sexually, and by what guidelines do they make that decision?
  • Do elders with dementia have the right to sexual expression? Who decides that, and on what basis?
  •  If staff members have a different personal belief about what’s appropriate sexual behavior (or non-behavior), do their values override our own?
  • If family members are uncomfortable with us having a sexual relationship, should their wishes supersede ours?
As uncomfortable as this might seem, I suggest you write down your personal policy about your right to sexual expression in your later years: an Advance Directive for Sexual Rights, let's call it. Then  share it with your loved ones. Just because you might be unable to voice your wishes when the time comes doesn’t mean you no longer have those wishes.

Personally, I want the right to decide when and how I want to be touched sexually -- whether by my own hand, a partner I've chosen, or a sex toy that they'd better not pry out of my arthritic hands -- for the rest of my life. Don't you?

If I end up living in a care facility, I imagine I won't submit to rules easily, unless they are as progressive as the Hebrew Home at Riverdale (NY), which has had a sexual rights policy since 1995, and updates it periodically. Until other homes catch up, it's up to us to make our wishes clear.

Have you written your Advance Directive for Sexual Rights? Here's a working draft of mine:

  • Make sure I have an outlet and batteries to keep my sex toys in working order.
  • Do not interfere with any warm connection I may be enjoying with any companion I choose, in any way I choose to express that connection.
  • If I’m involved with a sexual partner, make sure I have easy access to safer sex protection.
  • When I close the door—whether I’m alone or with another person—give me privacy.
  • If I’m still capable of sharing information about senior sexuality with residents and or staff, provide me with opportunities to do that.


What are yours?

[Excerpted from The Ultimate Guide to Sex after FiftyHow to Maintain - or Regain - a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life by Joan Price]

Sunday, October 22, 2017

You and Your Boomer/ Senior Parent: Talking about Safer Sex


Do you have a parent who is out in the dating world? If so, this post is for you. This blog is normally aimed at folks age 50, 60, 70 and beyond. But right now I'd like to talk to the adult children of Boomers and seniors who are dating new people. My questions to you:
  • Have you talked to your parent about safer sex? 
  • If so, how did that conversation go? 
  • If not, was it because you didn't dare, didn't want to, or didn't have the words?
Arti Patel
First, a little background. I was interviewed extensively in "Seniors have sex – and the STI rates to prove it" by Arti Patel for Global News. This article addressed the rising rates of STIs among seniors in Canada, the reasons behind the rise, and what we can do about it. Patel wrote,

Joan Price, sex advocate and author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, says the reason why the community has high STI rates is simple: they’re not using condoms.

After this article came out, Kelly Cutrara interviewed me about this topic on Talk Radio AM 640 in Toronto. (I apologize for the call quality -- the interview request was too fast to get to my landline.) She asked me how the younger generation can talk to their single parents about safer sex. How do they get beyond the embarrassment? What words can they use? What if their good intentions backfire?

I suggested that this approach might begin the conversation:

"I know it's incredibly awkward to talk about sex with my parent, but Mom [Dad], we need to do this. What do you know about safer sex? Are you using condoms?" 

[Parent:] "What? Why are we having this conversation?" 

"Because no one else will, and I care about you. I know that STI rates are rising among your age group. I want to make sure you're protected." 

If you have been at either end -- Boomer/senior parent or adult child -- of a similar conversation, what did you say? What was the outcome? Or if you have another idea about how this discussion should go, we'd all like to know your thoughts.

Please share by posting a comment here, and include your age. (If you have trouble posting, email me with your comment and the name you'd like to use -- it doesn't have to be yours -- and your age, and I'll post it for you.)  Let's get this discussion going.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Sex without Penetration: A Man’s View

The day after my first “Great Sex Without Penetration” webinar, I received this email from an attendee:

"How is it possible for a 69-year-old woman and a 72-year-old man to enjoy 3 continuous hours of non-stop sex and joyful lovemaking, and then fall contentedly to sleep? And pick right up in the morning, seemingly where we left off? Use Joan's "sex without penetration" method, and leave out any and all expectations! Really. I owe you a big time testimonial!"

A couple of months later, I gave this webinar again, and another man raved to me about how well the techniques and especially the attitude adjustment worked for him and his new lover. I asked if he was willing to say more, and he sent me this. I share with you with his approval:

Sex without Penetration

by Shamus MacDuff 

Like most heterosexual males who learned about sex via Playboy, locker room talk, and pornography, I grew up thinking that “real sex” involved putting my penis in a woman’s vagina and thrusting in and out until I ejaculated. Oh, how wrong I was!

Widowed at age 73 after two long marriages, I was very fortunate to meet a wonderful, sex-positive woman via an online dating site. We clicked almost instantly and soon became lovers.

Thankfully, by then I had taken Joan Price’s webinar, “Great Sex Without Penetration.” It taught me that loving, happy, joyous sex is much more than the classic sexual intercourse -- putting penis-in-vagina (PIV: a term I learned from the webinar) -- which I had thought defined sex. The webinar also surprised me with the fact that very few women achieve orgasms that way.

When this new woman and I were first exploring each other, open and caring communications about sex without penetration aided us in learning how to please each other and reach a crescendo of sexual joy.

My patient lover explained to me exactly how to bring her to orgasm, which had everything to do with clitoral stimulation and nothing to do with intercourse. Since the webinar emphasized the central importance of good communication toward achieving mutual pleasure and orgasm, I was grateful for my lover’s guidance.

Exploring each other without the goal of PIV also let us enjoy excitement and orgasms without any performance anxiety about whether my erection would be hard enough or last long enough. That didn’t matter!

I’ve discovered that giving a woman pleasure via cunnilingus and touching is highly arousing for me. giving me more excitement and pleasure than PIV. My lover equally enjoys pleasing me with fellatio, stroking, and sex toys. Another of Joan’s webinars, “Sex Toys for Seniors,” introduced me to the variety of sex toys and the many fun ways that they can be employed. I’m sure that other men will find, as I have, that these toys heighten sexual pleasure without penetration -- for us as well as for our partners!

So, listen up, guys: if you’re an older man in search of mutual pleasure and sexual fulfillment, sex without penetration is the way to go!


Note from Joan: If you'd like to take one of my workshops live, see my upcoming schedule here. But you don't have to wait for me to come to a city near you -- recordings of my webinars are available now. Info here. Email me for registration details.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Webinars: Joan Price's Senior Sex Online Classes

Webinars!



What’s a webinar, how does it work, 
and why should you care?

A webinar is an online class. Using a web camera and microphone, I give an information-packed, lively presentation similar to the way I teach when I travel, but you watch online instead of waiting for me to come to your city. You can watch live if it fits your schedule, or watch a video recording of it later, or both. These classes are on topics that you -- my subscribers and readers -- have requested.

Recent webinars, available for viewing online:

If you're interested in a webinar that has already happened, you can purchase viewing rights for $49 for one; $45 each for two; or $40 each for three or more. (All prices US dollars.) Each 90-minute webinar was recorded in its entirety and you can watch at your convenience -- multiple times if you wish. Once I receive your payment via PayPal or check, I'll send you the link and password.  Email me for details, telling me which webinars you wish to view. 


7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Sexual Pleasure 

How’s your sex life as a senior? If you answer either “Not very satisfying” or “What sex life?” this practical webinar is for you. You’ll learn the facts about sex and aging and helpful strategies for overcoming the challenges. With Joan’s help, you’ll start to design your personal action plan for bringing the zing back into your sex life, partnered or solo. Included:
• 5 simple, practical tips for easier sexual arousal that you can put into action immediately;
• Framework for a 7-step plan to improve your sexual pleasure long-term;
• Handout to help you design your plan.
Recorded May 25, 2017.


Sex Toys for Seniors 

Joan has been reviewing sex toys from a senior perspective for more than a decade. At our age, a well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can mean the difference between orgasm or no orgasm. What do vibrators do that a hand or partner can't? How do I choose the best one(s)? What if my partner doesn't want me to use a sex toy? Will using a vibrator decrease my sensitivity? Will I become dependent on a vibrator? Are there good sex toys for men? Included:

 • Joan's criteria for evaluating sex toys
 • 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
 • 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
 • Show-and-tell: Joan's highly recommended sex toys for seniors.
 • Links for recommended sex toys.
(Recorded May 27, 2017.) 



Great Sex without Penetration

Let’s get one misconception out of the way. Sex without penetration is still sex. Real sex. Hot sex. The idea that only penetrative sex constitutes “real sex” limits our creativity and our satisfaction. There are many reasons that penetrative sex might be off the table, but that leaves us with a smorgasbord of delectable options. Get new ideas for what we can do instead to express ourselves sexually, arouse ourselves and each other, share intimacy, and enjoy orgasms. Learn how to talk to a partner about sexual limitations and possibilities and how to negotiate more satisfying sexual expression. Handout included. (Recorded June 1, 2017.)



12 Steps to Sexy Aging – Starting Now! 


What can you do now to make sure you keep sex alive as you age? What are the secrets to staying sexually vibrant through the decades ahead? In this presentation, you’ll learn what you can do starting now, whether you’re 25 or 55 or any age at all, to invest in your future sexuality. You’ll learn practical tips, communication skills, and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo – despite what the aging process throws your way. (Recorded July 22, 2017.)


How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?

Dating after 50, 60, 70 and beyond can feel awkward and weird. How do you meet people? Do you need to use online dating? What are the mistakes most people make with their online profile and photos? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, polyamorous, or a long-time single, this entertaining webinar will be illuminating and practical -- plus you’ll find out how others our age meet and mate. Useful tips and plenty of laughter guaranteed. Worksheet included for getting what you want! (Recorded June 17, 2017.)



What do Joan's webinar attendees and viewers say?
  • "My wife and I enjoyed your sex without penetration webinar very much. The real value of the presentation was the manner-of-fact way that you talk about sex without penetration. In particular, directly talking frankly about pursuing ones sexual pleasure. Your webinars have been the catalyst for several lengthy talks in recent weeks. Our conversations (especially the pillow-talk) and our play time together have simply been better. We are happy to be part of your community. Thanks for doing what you do!"
  • "This webinar is a fine presentation and an extremely helpful piece of work and I benefited in a host of ways. Even though I've read all three of your books on aging and sexuality, have followed your blog and other online items, I learned some things this afternoon."
  •  "How is it possible for a 69-year-old woman and a 72-year-old man to enjoy 3 continuous hours of non-stop sex and joyful lovemaking, and then fall contentedly to sleep? And pick right up in the morning, seemingly where we left off? Use Joan's "sex without penetration" method, and leave out any and all expectations! Really. I owe you a big time testimonial!"
  • "We learned a lot from your webinar. My husband and I have been married 40 years. We are going to take some of the steps you recommended."
  • "I think you did a real good job of explaining things. I could see that what we were facing is not uncommon."
  • "Loved the sex toy webinar! I didn’t realize the different ergonomic options for vibrators and dildos so this will help my greatly in work with seniors helping to refer them to appropriate toys. I will use this information when purchasing my own toys and also with older age clients wanting to discuss sex and sex toy options."
  • "Your sex toy webinar was an  excellent presentation and show& tell. Very informative and, as a toy 'virgin,' I liked your very matter-of-fact, 'this is ok and normal' approach. At one point I LOL'd, because I mentally superimposed you showing varieties of cake mixers or vacuum cleaners. Your approach has caused me to want to get one of these 'appliances' yesterday."
  • "Your dating webinar was interesting and worthwhile and very helpful in clarifying what I'm looking for and what are deal breakers. You were an engaging and authentic speaker!"
  • "I wrote what I thought to be a compelling profile on OKCupid, but it attracted relatively little interest.  Joan Price's webinar ("How the Heck Do I Date at This Age") provided important tips and suggestions for revision, and after I incorporated these insights the activity level on my profile increased markedly and has resulted in numerous inquiries and several fun dates with good matches."
  • "Five stars! I think what you're doing is quite challenging and you did a great job. You kept it light and funny while discussing some things most find quite difficult. You told some nice stories and especially you showed us some of your own vulnerability. Powerful stuff."
  • "I loved how matter of fact you are about using sex toys. I will keep playing around with my vibrators as a way to get to know my own sexual response, and bring that knowledge into partner sex. Thank you for the wonderful work you do and the beautiful acceptance of all that sex for seniors may entail."
  • "I found your entire sex toys presentation absorbing and highly informative about the variety and range of sex toys and what they can and cannot do. I delighted in your imitations of the different sounds and speeds of various sex toys. What a kick!"

Joan shows her favorites
in Sex Toys for Seniors

Interested in meeting me in person? View my speaking schedule here. I am also available for personal consultations via phone or video call. Email me for more information. Be sure you subscribe here to receive my occasional newsletter for senior sex tips, events, and special offers for subscribers only. Thank you for being part of my community.



Tuesday, August 01, 2017

Rumble: Unique, Lightweight Vibrator from Tantus


Do you want a vibrator that's well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and fairly strong -- with a truly ergonomic shape, size, and weight? Impossible, you say? Check out The Rumble from Tantus, a solution if you have wrist arthritis or any condition that makes it difficult to grip or hold up a wand vibrator for as long as it takes to get the job done.

I couldn't believe how light the Rumble is to hold: just 6.6 ounces. (For comparison, the Doxy Die Cast, fabulous as it is, weighs almost two pounds.) Tantus describes the Rumble as "featherweight," and I agree. The shape is also unique -- you can hold it in several different ways and it remains easy on the wrist. The silicone head is removable for easy cleaning -- it's even dishwasher safe.

I love the size of the head. The shape is versatile: you can use it flat-headed for all-over vulva sensations, or, if/when you prefer, tilt it so that the edge pinpoints your clitoris. Either way (or changing it up as you go), the sensation is yummy. Although I'm speaking from the point of view of a vulva owner, its use is not restricted to a particular gender -- all Tantus products are gender neutral. (I'd love to hear from you about how your penis enjoys it.)

The controls are large, easy to see (they even light up), and even if your hand is closed over them, you're not likely to press a button accidentally. Some vibrators are annoying because either any light touch turns the darn thing off, or the opposite, you have to use uncomfortable pressure. The Rumble has it right -- you can touch or glide over the buttons while adjusting how you want to hold it, and you won't accidentally turn it off. When you do want to change the settings, a light, intentional pressure will do it. The power button is placed far away from the "-" and "+" buttons, good thinking.

Is it as strong as the monster king vibrators I tend to prefer, like the Doxy Die Cast, Magic Wand, or Sybian? No, not even close. But for those of you who don't require a turbo power tool to get your orgasm going, you'll prefer the lightweight Rumble for the ergonomic qualities I described. Even if you usually do require mondo stimulation, you might find -- as I did! -- that when you're especially in the mood, this works just dandy.

The Rumble is USB rechargeable and has seven settings -- three intensities and four additional patterns. The vibrations at the lower settings are deep and rumbly, which makes the sensations especially pleasurable, though they do get buzzier with higher speeds. The Rumble is quieter than most wand vibrators.

Tantus is a wonderful company for many reasons. It's owned by one of my favorite sex educators and innovators, Metis Black. Metis spearheaded the silicone sex toy movement in 1997, long before the rest of us were aware of the health repercussions of the materials used in sex toys at that time. Metis values the health of her customers as much as our pleasure, plus she's a delightful, warm person.

If you're into dildos or butt plugs of any size or shape, take a look at the original silicone products created by Tantus. And don't miss the sex ed articles -- pegging, spanking, and how to bring up that sexual itch that's been tickling your brain, for example. Now I've got your attention!

Thank you, Tantus, for the gift of the Rumble in return for an honest review.





The review above was originally published 9/8/16. My 8/1/17 update:

The dear folks at Tantus sent me the Dorado Head to try with my Rumble. The Dorado has a  silicone "fin" shape that flicks and flutters, good for stimulating any erogenous zone that wants to be flicked and fluttered.

I found the sensation underwhelming for clitoral arousal, but my penis owner tester reported that it felt nice on his nipples and oh yeah, really, REALLY nice when fluttered up and down and on and around his penis.

For just an extra $24, this attachment makes the Rumble even more versatile. All the Rumble attachments (scroll down from here to view three styles) are easily interchangeable -- just pull off the regular head and substitute the attachment of your choice.
Bobby Joe helps me open
the Dorado packaging

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Womanizer Plus and 2Go -- oh yes!

The Womanizer -- the sex toy whose name we hate and whose orgasm assistance we love -- has two new models! There's the long-handled Womanizer Plus and the lipstick-shaped Womanizer 2Go. As soon as I expressed interest, Good Vibrations rushed to ship me both to review. (Love you, Educator Andy!) I was surprised by how powerfully -- and quickly! -- both worked.

Let's get one thing settled. In my earlier reviews of the original Womanizer and the later model Womanizer W500, I dubbed the sensation  "clitoral suction." I described it this way:

It doesn't just vibrate (though it does do that) -- it gently pulls on the clitoris, bringing blood flow, engorgement, and increased sensation. It's not "sucking" like a vacuum -- it's subtle, but oh so effective and pleasurable.

I stand by my description of the sensation, but I guess I need to stop calling it "sucking." Other reviewers** have pointed out that it doesn't "suck" -- it blows puffs of air in pressurized pulses. The company calls it "Pleasure Air Technology." It feels like gentle sucking to me, and it feels glorious. In my experience, both of these new Womanizers speed up arousal and deliver orgasms easily and surprisingly quickly.

Heads in two sizes
These Womanizers are more attractive than the previous models -- the garishness is gone -- and the control buttons***  are easier to use. Both come with detachable heads in two sizes and shapes to get the best fit for your clitoris. (Look carefully -- the extra head is easy to miss underneath the packaging.) Both models are waterproof!



Pros:
* Smallish and light to pack for travel -- this one is going in my carry-on for sure!

* Quite strong, considering the comparatively small size.
Womanizer 2Go (L)
Laura Mercier lipstick (R)

Cons:
* It's the shape of a lipstick, but not the size. See the difference? This is only a con if you expect teeny tiny.

* The case does not stay closed securely. A little nudge will dislodge the cap from the base. This is a design flaw, and an aggravating one. Be careful if you're carrying it in your purse. Don't let the cat knock it around.



Pros:
* The long handle is splendidly ergonomic, especially for short arms and arthritic wrists. The design is a huge improvement over previous models.

* The sensation is strong, dependable, and joyous.


Cons:
* I didn't find any cons. Other reviewers criticized the placement of the controls, high and low on the back of the handle, but I liked that I couldn't accidentally turn it down or off.

* Wait -- one con: the price. Yeah, it's as expensive as two high-quality sex toys. But in my view, if you can afford the $200, the pleasure and ease of orgasm make it worth it.  Of course your mileage may vary.


** The funny and often snarky Epiphora described the sensation as akin to "a horde of fish nibbling tenderly at your clitoris." The "sex toy critic/ dildo burner" Dangerous Lilly wrote, "I’ve been told by Womanizer there is no vacuum/suction, instead, the technology is 'pressurized air pulses,'" in her remarkably thorough review of both of these products, Womanizer 2Go and Womanizer Plus, and comparison of all the Womanizer models and  the Satisfyer (which I haven't yet reviewed, but it's in the pipeline). Why am I sending you to other reviewers? Because they're marvelous, and if you don't already read Epiphora and Dangerous Lilly, you should!

*** Control buttons:



Controls back of handle
2Go control button on bottom


Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me these Womanizers in return for an honest review.




Friday, June 30, 2017

Over 50? Your sex toy store experiences

Joan at Smitten Kitten Minneapolis
6/30/17 update: So many folks in our age group have never shopped in a sex toy shop, or think they're all dark, scary, and sticky-floored. I describe today's progressive sex toy store, demystify the experience of shopping there, and encourage you to find the closest store and visit in "How to Shop for Sex Toys" for Senior Planet. I quoted several of you! I hope you'll comment there and copy your comment here, too. Thanks for being part of our community.

original post 6/10/17:

How old were you when you first visited a sex toy store? If your first visit was after age 50, what was that like for you? How did the staff make you feel comfortable (or not)? Was it difficult for you to ask questions? I invite you to share by posting a comment.

Good Vibrations San Francisco
Many of my events are in sex toy stores. At 73, I'm comfortable in stores whose walls are populated by shelves of vibrators and dildos. I love to visit to see what's new. I pal around with staff members, delighting in the kinds of discussions that sex nerds enjoy.

Yet I frequently hear from people of my generation that they don't feel comfortable even going into a sex toy shop, let alone asking intimate questions of strangers who look to be the age of their grandchildren. I know what terrific resources these stores are, staffed by trained sex educators and filled with sex toys (aka "orgasm tools," as I sometimes call them) that can intensify your sexual pleasure in ways you thought had disappeared or at least decreased after a certain number of birthdays.

Pleasure Chest NYC
I'd love for this post to become a discussion. Whether you love sex toy shops or you've never dared go in one, or anything in between, please share your experiences and views as comments on this post.* You don't have to use your real name (choose something other than "anonymous," please, just so we can keep track of who's saying what), but please give your real age.

I might want to quote from your experience in an upcoming article. I won't identify you, except by age, unless you want me to. Thank you!


* Please, though, don't post a comment aimed at promoting your own business. If you want to advertise on this blog (a very good idea if you want to reach our age group, but only after I scrutinize your site, the quality of your products, and your customer service), email me to inquire. Any commercial promotions disguised as comments will be swiftly deleted.




Thursday, June 22, 2017

"He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open" - Roz Warren reviews Ageless Erotica


6/22/17 update. I was just telling a friend about this hilarious review and decided to bring it to your attention, too. This post is from March 2013. Yes, Ageless Erotica is still available, from either my website (autographed!) or Amazon. The book and I are 4 years older now; otherwise nothing has changed!  -- Joan

ORIGINAL POST:

When I read Roz Warren's review of Ageless Erotica at HumorTimes.com , I laughed so hard that I immediately asked the writer for permission to republish it here. Enjoy! -- Joan

If you want a glimpse into the erotic imaginations of sex writers who’ve been around the block a few times, pick up a copy of Ageless Erotica, a new collection of sex writing by, for, and about seniors.

Joan Price, 69, is on a mission to “talk out loud about senior sex.” She gives lectures. She holds workshops. And she writes books. Better than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty was followed by Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. And now there’s Ageless Erotica, described as a “steamy assortment of erotic stories and memoir essays written for a mature audience.”

The book collects tales of seniors from all walks of life, gay and straight, vanilla and kinky, taking their clothes off and having a good time. I’ve never found erotica a turn-on, but I still got a kick out of reading it. I even learned a few things. (Masturbation clubs for women? Who knew?)

The stories in Ageless Erotica are a fascinating mix of the sensual, the medical and the humorous. The writing itself is all over the place. Laughingly abysmal. Unabashedly smutty. And, often, oddly moving.

Here’s a sampling of my favorite lines:

“My yoni was a ravenous hollow.”

“In a flash, he was butt-naked except for his socks.”

“I came in places I didn’t know I had.”

“My first blue cock. Would anything else on earth ever feel so good?”

“I played his instrument with my mouth as if it were a flute.”

“You are amazingly well constructed,” he said. “There’s evidence of too much sun on exposed areas, leaving a coarseness to the skin, but,” he added, stroking my ass, “the hidden parts are the silkiest I’ve ever felt.”

“Lifting her breasts away from her chest, he kissed his way down, until he found her sparse, gray pubic hair.”

“A lifetime of hard work let me afford trendy cashmere sweaters.”

“You have such beautiful, manly nipples, sweetheart.”

“I skipped teasing him with the knitted glove and went straight to the surgical one — in my actual size.”

“Filthy incoherence is always a positive sign at that point in our lovemaking.”

“He wants me naked when I fling the front door open.”

“It’s my boyish charm, as I’m told, that hangs around, unlike my hair.”

“I’ve included the inevitable butt plug.”

“A heavy date requires a slow day beforehand and a preparatory nap.”

“Off to the bedroom?” I asked with a wink.

“I clutch the sheets and yell, 'Fuck, oh fuck, yes, yes, yes, do me, oh do me, thank you Sir, oh fuck, fuck, yes, yes, yes!'”

“We were naked before we even washed our vibrators.”

“I couldn’t remember if I had shaved the gray hairs from my lollipop just in case it was going to get licked.”

“Barry took my legs and spread them like a wishbone.”

“Tom Maynard, you’re as hard as a prize salami!”

“You can thank my hormone supplements. They do wonders for this kind of thing.”

"His first question when we met was, 'Do you know how to gut a deer?'”

"He says, 'I’m prepared,' code for the Levitra pill he took a half hour ago.”

“My heart resumed a normal rhythm, all fears of another infarction vanished.”

"His tongue slid around my clit, which I’ve named Ethel, and over it, and too soon, I flooded with warmth."

Intrigued? You can find Ageless Erotica at your local indy bookstore.

If it’s not in stock, just give the salesperson a lascivious wink and ask him to order it for you. And Ethel.


He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open: Joan Price's 'Ageless Erotica'
Roz Warren
Roz Warren writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor and The Philadelphia Inquirer. Visit her website.


This review (c) Roz Warren first appeared at HumorTimes.com on March 30, 2013. It is reprinted here with Ms. Warren's permission.


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Monday, June 19, 2017

Why Don't They Ask Us?


I'm sure you've seen news stories that announce how often seniors are having sex or how much we enjoy the sex we're having. A problem I have with many of the studies about sex and aging is that they often don’t define “having sex.”

Does "having sex" mean partnered sex only? (Solo sex is real sex!) Heterosexual intercourse only? Orgasms? Are they asking whether we're having the same kind of sex we used to? What if we're enjoying new ways of having sex?

If we give a partner an orgasm and the partner gives us an orgasm, but there's no PIV (penis in vagina), did we have sex? I say yes. If we haven't had partner sex for a year but we give ourselves weekly orgasms with our favorite vibrator, are we sexually active? I say yes.

I don’t think we know much about what kind of sex seniors are having, once we broaden the definition of what sex is. My definition: Sex is any activity, solo or partnered, that gives us sexual pleasure, arousal, orgasm -- and maybe, but not always, all three. Does that cover the kind of sex you're having? Help me finesse this definition.

Let's discuss this. How would you define sex at our age? And how has your definition of sex changed over the decades? If you're willing to share your definition, or you have a comment on this topic, I invite you to post to the comments section. Your turn!